Digging Hearts

First, Thanks to all of the support from Fitzgerald's bike shop, to friends, and most importantly Mike. Without your support I probably would not have as great of a day- thank you.

Jay P’s Backyard Pursuit words cannot describe the experience or the range of emotions at these “events.” They are inherently challenging and he must have a connection with the weather gods. After Pierre’s Hole riding was at the bottom of my to do list. Life came fast with, moving in with my love, a total eclipse, best friend’s wedding in North Carolina, and a surprise party for Mike.  It took my body more time to recover from Pierre’s than expected and while recovering I took two hard falls. I just was not able to get much time in the saddle before the Pursuit.

Two weeks out I told myself that if the weather was going to be cold and rainy I would I ride the 60 mile. I wrote myself a permission slip. Ten days out the forecast was good, sunny with highs in the 50s. A week before we received our second snow of the season. Now it was enough to ski September snow. A group was going skiing, I was going along because I wanted to be apart of the group. Mike asked, want to ride your bike? My heart lit up, I could ride snow! I still do not understand why riding on snow makes me so happy, but it fills my soul like nothing else. In that moment when I embraced winter in September I also embraced the Pursuit.

The week leading up I still had moments of What am I doing?! I do not have to do this. I dug out my winter gear. As I am pulling my gear I realize I have pulled what I wore for the WINTER Pursuit, I thought to myself Nan this is a bit of overkill.

I was able to help Tracey with registration, which was tons of fun and it kept me focused on something. Talking with people who had the same concerns that I have helped to ease my worries. There was an older gentleman who looked more like a rancher than biker. As I was checking him in he said that he had just started riding his bike 6 weeks ago and this was his first race! He asked what a Swag Bag was. I could tell that he was soaking this experience up with the wide grin. As the evening progressed energy was building.

I awoke at 5:10 to the sound of a coffee grinder in the house. I get up, get dressed, and wander over to breakfast. I sit with guys talking about other gravel and bikepacking races. I am intimidated by my lack of experience. At the start line I look around to see who the other women are. The roster online listed several strong women that I was honored to be riding with.
I did not use my permission slip to ride the 60 but I was using it not to race. I was going out for a 120 mile ride. Looking around I had more gear on my bike than most, I honestly do not like being cold nor do I handle it well thus I am prepared. Full set of rain gear, fleece gloves with dish gloves to go over, bread bags for my feet, extra fleece, extra light, and handwarmers. The first hour or so I am trying to find my rhythm. The gravel is lose catches my tires and sending me for a one second rodeo rides. It reminded me  of the Fat Pursuit. Thankfully, this Pursuit the surface became more consistent. I forgot my heart rate monitor, I do not have something telling me how hard I am working, I must think about it! The first few hours flew by I was having a great ride. I did take one fall, I was trying to do many things on my bike. I got back on my bike and kept going. I passed the 60 mile mark right at 5 hours, I was feeling wonderful! If I was able to keep the same pace I would finish in 10 hours! That is a BIG assumption that I could hold the same pace but I was feeling good. 

On the way up Two Top I finally see Mike! We stop for a quick hello and air kiss. Business time. When the route turns for the two track I grin. The grade kicks up. I am in granny gear, looking about 25 feet in front of me to pick my line. I cannot look too far out or doubt takes over. Throughout, the day I keep asking myself, I am getting warmer or colder or able to maintain my body temperature? I change layers as needed but trying not to stop too often.  The trees give way to the alpine. I see someone in the distance who is putting a coat. I arrive, it is Kellie Nelson! One of the ladies I am honored to be riding with! I also put on my rain coat as the exposure has my temperature cooling. Finding the balance of when to add layers is almost an art form, I am using my theory of: Be warm Stay warm. Two Top is wild place. One must want to be out there to make it to the top, no easy paths to get there. I had to dig deep to get there in the process loss my appetite and the “bad” weather had officially moved in. The double track goes on for a bit longer then there is a “off trail” section. This is a path used by snowmobiles in winter but in summer it is not trail or path it is undergrowth. I enjoy walking my bike as I am able to use different muscles and stretch out my back a bit. I cross the marsh trying not to get my feet wet or fall. This is when I started to ask myself, what am I doing on bike out here. Thankfully the section was not long and Mike rode up at the end. He said, “You are two minutes behind second place!” I did not believe Mike, he must have missed a lady or two. Mike saying that pulled me into the race mode! I did stop to put on my rain paints as my legs were starting to get wet and knew that I was in for a fun descent off the mountain. I was able to eat a Kate’s Bar but was running low on food. I felt fine but I knew that I had created a hole that I was probably going to catch up with me before the end.

I arrive the valley floor at about mile 90, 30 miles left. I know this is go time but my tank was starting to run low. I was warm and enjoying riding. I have no idea how hard it was raining, all I recall is that it was wet. I arrive at the last aid station. Jay, Mike, Kellie, and a few other races are there. I grab two GUs packets a bit of water and I am out. I knew that if I stopped I would cool down and make life harder. As it turned out I passed a number of riders there, I had no idea, I was in go mode. I had 17 miles mostly flat but a few small climbs. I take off before Kellie, she quickly catches me. I pull in front of her but she pushes harder. I knew I could not maintain that pace for 17 miles on what I had in the gas tank. I was able to keep her in sight for about 5 miles. My belly starts to cramp. I try to keep a good pace but the small climbs zap me. I pass the spot where I first met Mike and bird sang, my heart warmed. I made the turn for Chick Creek, I thought back to Fat Pursuit when I towed in two friends of mine how much fun that ride was. On this ride I was solo, pushing myself no hooting and hollering of joy of the insanity. The last turn was on to a road with large pot holes that were filled with water. My speed dropped and the pain increased. I crossed the line at 11 hours and 2 minutes. Tracey and Eric were there and she said that I placed third! I earned a belt bucket! I cried. I came into the Pursuit wanting to finish and somehow it turned into something more.

Ben Weaver a fellow traveler wrote a poem titled Digging Hearts and read it us before the start of the race. The last stanza struck me:

These digging hearts pull a thread 
through our stories
they make us a community of adventurers 
rather than lone lost conquerors 
may we never stop feeding them 
may they never stop digging 
never stop pushing us to our infinite limits,
may we all be unified in this pursuit
at the edge of this island wilderness,
in Jay P’s backyard 
may we all ride forward.


Other thoughts:
I rode my Ti Vaya bike. Jay fitted me for it 5 years ago when I rode across the country. Of my bikes this one holds the closest place to my heart.

I am starting realize that I am decent at climbing.

Eat and drink more than you think you should. Every bite and drink will help prevent digging a hole. 

Aaron Gardner's plan works, show up to finish do not worry about placing, it works!